if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
