roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize