I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
third nipple confirmed
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Randomize
