i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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