What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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