Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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