i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
