My Higher Power is John Stamos
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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