Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
