They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
NoShamevember. You game?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
