At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
