2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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