so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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