He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
