I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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