you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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