one might say we're banned from that church
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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