summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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