it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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