I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize