Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
