weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
