and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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