Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
