Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
