yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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