Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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