just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
