Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
