so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
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Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
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Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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