you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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