yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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