I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
