I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
