They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
