Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
