i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
