can u get pink eye on your cock?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
