Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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