Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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