Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
false alarm. still invincible.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
