If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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