This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
