Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
