i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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