Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
