so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
