i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
