I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i will never coherently bang her
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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