Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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