oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
