Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
