yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
