I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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