I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
