WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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