Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
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Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
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I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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