Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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