Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Found your dick twin last night
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Randomize
