she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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