Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It's shark week go big or go home
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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