Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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