that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
