idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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