we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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