You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
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Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
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I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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