8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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