I want to make a zoo with you.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
