I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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