I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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