I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
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And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
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Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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